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Oh What A Stab to My Wounded Ego!
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Posted by
romanticme
12/03/08 10:42:10 PST
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I had a rather stunning stab to my ego this past weekend. I was in work and going into a stock room. Some of the department leads were in there and were chatting. I joined in. We were talking about nothing in particular. All was lighhearted conversation. Then.... one of the ladies mentioned that she needed new work pants. I said that I was having a hard time finding pants for work. Here's where the stab came when one of the ladies commented to me that maybe I should stop eating and then double slammed me by stating that I had a big, fat ass! I was stunned and shocked that she had the nerve to say something like that to me. She wasn't someone that I considered a friend... just a work aquaintance. Anyway, I just kinda shrugged, said that I'm leaving to cry, and walked out the room.
There's one thing that I'm super sensitive about and that is my weight. I walk around in a rather large body. I've battled with my weight all my life. I've gained some substantial weight in the last 5 years. Nothing seems to work as far as losing it. I do eat a rather healthy and well-balanced diet everyday. I don't overindulge. I just am large. I have a rather extensive family history of large people. The only thing that I should do more is exercise. I'm not giving any excuses for that. It is what it is.
In these last 5 years, I've developed a very poor body image. I can't stand to look in the mirror and see just how large I am. I try my best to look my best everyday. I dress well and not sloppy. It's very rare thought that I like the way that I look. I carry this poor image with me everyday.
So..... this stunning stab that I took only made me feel worse about myself. I can't seem to let it go. How can someone be so cruel to say something like that to me? It comes very close to being verbally abusive.
What do you think? Please comment if you please. I'm looking only for support and some encouragement . Please no diet tips. I've done practically all the diet fads. I'm done with that and have just encorporated a very healthy and well balanced daily diet routine. At least I know for sure that I do eat healthy, wise and well. I believe that moderation is the key to eating and I am very disciplined as far as that is concerned.
Just tell me your thoughts. That's all that I ask! I'm not looking for pity.
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12/22/08 21:24pm PST cmsullivan2
look god made you just they way he wanted you to be , you are perfect . Don't you ever let anyone tell you any different . There is no two people alike. Just be happy with being you. -
12/04/08 10:45am PST marylou
Arlijohn, that's awful about your accent! (Sounds like it's worth a story too.) It is hard to believe that we can find the most meaningless, ridiculous things to hold against people. Weight, height, color, clothes. It would be incredibly refreshing to try SEE someone by what's in their heart. Will someone please pass the kindness and compassion? -
12/04/08 08:21am PST arlijohn
Wow, I totally understand where you are coming from. I am thin but my daughter isn't. I watch her struggle to keep weight off and she never allows herself to eat the way I do. I finally sat down with her and told her the plain hard truth. She is beautiful. There is nothing about her I would change. The only important issue with weight is to make sure you are keeping healthy. Where I come from in Louisiana, older men pitied my sister and myself when we were growing up. They thought we were to skinny to ever attract a man. But, those women were mean and their manners were inexcusable, I had the same thing happen here in the Midwest because they didn't like my accent. After a meeting where they explained to me I had to learn to talk properly, I got in my car and found another job. Most company policies do not allow that sort of discrimination. Yet in these times a person is afraid to pursue this. -
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12/03/08 16:21pm PST RebelMom
As someone who is still struggling with her body image, that slam on your coworker's part is just pure malice. Maybe thoughtless, but totally uncalled for. As long as YOU are happy with your body weight and image, then that is all that matters. As long as you are healthy, then that is all that matters. As long as you are happy ... you get my point. =0) Not everyone can be thin like Nicole Kidman (btw, don't you think she just looks unhealthy?), but I personally like people with character on their faces and bodies. If we all were plastic looking, it would get rather boring, don't you think? So, anyhow, I think I would ignore your coworker's nasty comment and live your life. Happy people always have the last say, you know. =0)
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i have a tip for you romanticme, but not a diet tip. it's a tip for feeding your soul. in your story about your new years resolution, you said it would be to remember to love. well remember to love yourself too. yes, for most people, body image is a struggle. i struggled with it when i was younger because i was a stick. i used to struggle with it later on in life because i had gained a lot of weight. to be very cliche, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. but beauty is not only something to be seen. it can be sensed in many other ways. and as you can see from the comments posted, there are people that recognize the beauty in you. if you're a religious person, pray for this woman. she obviously needs it. i'm not a religious person, but i'll pray for her nonetheles.