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My daughter and I have never had very much, but we consider ourselves fortunate because we have the ability to work and a job where we apply that ability. Every year we try to help out a family that is having trouble for whatever reason.

One year my daughter had a woman working under her who was single and had two children, a girl in her teens and a boy around ten. They never had anything so we chose them for our efforts that year. The woman wasn't particularly likeable but she was in a difficult position. She told my daughter she couldn't afford any Christmas at her house.

After thinking about it, we gave her $100.00 to buy gifts and a $50.00 gift card to a grocery store. Afterwards we found out the woman took the money and played lottery tickets plus bought alcohol to console herself with when she lost. The groceries were cigarettes and hot dogs.

We were chagrined and wondered if we ever wanted to attempt to help anyone again. We have but we learned some lessons from that fiasco.

1. Never give money unless you know the people well and are sure what they will do with it. We meant the money to go for things the children needed and perhaps something extra, not booze. What we could have done was ask for a list of what the children wanted or needed and purchased those items for the mother to give to her kids.

2. Don't give credit at the grocery store. Purchase groceries yourself, maybe inviting the family to go with you.

3. Don't give and then expect gratitiude. Even though parents might need help, it is an uncomfortable situation to be in. Just give what you give because you wish to and know that you have made a difference.

4. Be generous when you can. We have a philosophy of "what goes around, comes around." It has stood us in good stead and we have never really missed what we have given away.

5.Think outside the box. Maybe an elderly person needs the gift of company or somebody to shovel the sidewalk. We have given rides to doctor's appointments, run errands, and even cleaned house.

Giving is something that makes your soul happy, so give.